Lydia's PSA about boobs.

I am going to be extremely candid here, friends.

(Listen-while-you-read-music)

Let me tell you what no one tells you. Because fact: you should be doing self-breast exams. Another fact that nobody flipping tells you: at least 80% of breast lumps are benign.

Holy mackeral. So. If you find something, there is an 80% chance that it is nothing. And therefore, you should probably not lose sleep or have panic attacks (even though you should still talk to the doctor).

There is so much information that should be given when doctors or speakers talk about self-breast exams but they never do. So you won't not sleep for a week.

Okay?

So now I will give you some information that I found on the internet that I was too afraid to look up for a week. I had time, because I wasn't sleeping. But instead, I watched a lot of movies on Netflix. (I give Wall-E two big thumbs up.)

So now let me tell you what the American Medical Association has to say about boobs, and problems that can happen with them. Because nobody ever told me. And I sure wish they had. (Okay, I had heard of fibrocystic changes, but I didn't know that it could show up in the form of an isolated lump or mass.)

Here is a "breast atlas," as the AMA has labeled this image:

And now for the descriptions of "disorders" of the breast (copied from the AMA's website):

Fibroadenomas are fibrous, benign (noncancerous) growths in breast tissue. These growths are solid, usually painless lumps that are not attached to any structures in the breast. A fibroadenoma is usually removed surgically, using a local anesthetic.

A cyst is a fluid-filled sac. The cause of breast cysts is unknown. In the vast majority of cases, cysts are not harmful, although they may cause pain. Cysts disappear sometimes by themselves, or your doctor may draw out the fluid with a needle.

A breast abscess is a collection of pus, resulting from an infection. Symptoms may include tenderness and inflammation. Antibiotics are prescribed to treat the infection, and your doctor may drain the pus.

Fibrocystic breast disease is a common condition characterized by an increase in the fibrous and glandular tissues in the breasts, which results in small, nodular cysts, noncancerous lumpiness, and tenderness. Although called a "disease," this condition is not a disease. There is no specific treatment for fibrocystic disease. Treatment of the cysts may be all that is needed (see Cysts above).

A tumor that is precancerous or cancerous usually shows up as a white area on a mammogram even before it can be felt. In cases where the tumor is cancerous, it may appear as a white area with radiating arms. A cancerous tumor may have no symptoms or may cause swelling, tenderness, discharge from the nipple or indentation of the nipple, or a dimpled appearance in the skin over the tumor (see inset). A breast biopsy is helpful in determining whether a mass is cancerous.

Fantastic. Now we all know lots about our boobs. Put the info to good use, my dears.